Mastering Contentment: Using stoicism to bring gratitude to your daily life

It has been shown that expressing gratitude and increasing feelings of satisfaction and contentment can be extremely powerful in improving our overall mental well being. So this week I invite you to join me on my journey to improve my mental clarity by attempting to be more content with what is. For most people, a major goal in life is to be happy.  That sentiment is almost universal, but like we discussed last week, actually achieving happiness is difficult. When happiness is felt, the sensation is often fleeting. As humans we go about chasing happiness all wrong. If you begin with happiness as your goal it will not be achieved. While happiness is not an achievable objective to actively strive for, one area that is worth focusing our mental energy on is the notion of being content and accepting of what I already have. 

 This is one of the core teachings of both stoic philosophy Buddhism.  One of the greatest works ever written was Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations. In it he says:

“No person has the power to have everything they want but it is in everybody’s power not want what they don’t have”  

Basically, my wants and desires will always be endless. I can easily make myself miserable, especially in this modern world of social media, by constantly comparing myself to everyone else. It doesn’t matter how much stuff I have, or how nice it is I can always find a reason to be dissatisfied. It is part of my built in human nature to sit around all day wishing I had something else, something better, something new. While it’s great to have goals and make big plans for the future, attaching any amount of supposedly happiness to a material object is going to leave us burned, leave us unfulfilled. A few years ago I found myself caught in the relentless pursuit of success in my career, constantly pushing to achieve more. I was convinced happiness was just around the corner. But no matter how much I accomplished, it was never enough. I was trapped in a cycle of dissatisfaction, always longing for something else. How many people do you know, do you read about, who are caught up in the same cycle. Luckily I recently realized this fallacy. As I have begun to live the words of people like my man Marcus, it has been helping me escape this matrix version of a false reality.

Make everyday a Thanksgiving

We all have difficulties and hardships, some of us more than others. By realizing that true satisfaction in life has nothing to do with the stuff we have, can be truly liberating. The truth is I have a lot to be thankful for. I bet you do as well.

A Buddhist might illustrate this topic with a simple thought experiment. 

Most people have the perception they would be happy if they could have what they want. Unfortunately most people put all of their effort into trying to satisfy their desires what ever that is. This is a losing battle because our desires are endless. But if the result of unsatisfied desire is unhappiness, wouldn’t it be easier to focus on the other side of the equation? This is my goal for the week and I invite you to join me in my efforts. To spend my mental energy on LIMITING my desires instead of fulfilling them. 

This is of course a never ending battle, but this week when my mind starts wandering about how it would be nice to have a new car, a different job, more friends I am going to try to stop these thoughts in their tracts and call them out for what they really is: Part of the imperfections of human nature. Unfortunately we are designed/built to be always be unsatisfied and to always chase after more and better things. At some point in human history this served as an advantage but now only contributes to our overall unhappiness and dissatisfaction. Science has proven to me that I will feel better if I occasionally take inventory and be thankful for the car I already have. I should regularly remind myself that my job is not perfect but it provides me with what I need. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter how much I fight to change things, how much I sacrifice to improve my possessions, or hope to find another job that is more fulfilling. There will always be a little voice in my head that will never stop telling me It would be nice to have more. So instead of spending my energy trying to get more stuff, I am going to spend that mental energy valuing the things I do have and silencing the voice in my head that is causing my dissatisfaction. I think this strategy will lead to much more contentment in my overall life and hopefully yours too. As we talked about last week, chasing happiness is like fools gold but this is different. What I am talking about now is contentment which is much more achievable and lasting. Let me know what you think.

“No person has the power to have everything they want but it is in everybody’s power not want what they don’t have”